I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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