I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
