My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
