She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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