WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
