Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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