Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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