and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
