I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
