Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
