thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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