Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
