if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
