if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
