why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
