sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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