singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
