I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
