my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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