I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
