Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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