I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
