I could have mohawked her pubes.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
why is half of my head shaved?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
