i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
