you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
