I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
