I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
