ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
