Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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