tell your sister to shave her snatch
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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