Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
