I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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