Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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