They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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