HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
