Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize