I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
