Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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