Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
