YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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