The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize