you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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