Im at strip club and am horny
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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