Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
