Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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