Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
