I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
