Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
