i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
