Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
