Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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