It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
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