Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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