the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
