is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
