if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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