Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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