I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize