i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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