On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize