Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
