it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
