I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize