no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
