she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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