I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize