that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
