Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
