Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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