Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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