Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Everclear isn't food dammit
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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