weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
