Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
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