My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize